Thought One: Less is More.

A dear friend of mine at one point in her life wanted to be an “environmental wedding planner.” But before she’d even begun to dive into this career, she came to the very same conclusions I have when looking at a wedding we hope to be more Mother Earth-friendly: the less you have the better. This does not bode well for the “wedding industry” nor the professionals who make their living planning weddings for others.

Since becoming engaged to be married in late August, I have been tempted to look at bridal magazines, window-shop for gowns and day-dream about loads and loads of flowers on The Big Day. Do any of these things mean a more successful marriage? And do any of these material goods even mean a happier wedding day? Absolutely not.

Maybe it’s my tendency to want to do the opposite of what someone tells me to do. Maybe it’s my Midwestern stubbornness. Either way, looking at what is the “Classic” American Wedding makes me stomach churn. I can’t even bring myself to call the modern trend in weddings in this country “Traditional” because so much of it is not older than 50 years: just about as long as its taken us to become a very materialistic society. Coincidence? I think not.

It is my firm belief that both a bride and groom deserve to have whatever their hearts desire on their wedding day. (Being an only child, I also feel this way about birthdays, but you don’t have to share those and you get more than one shot at achieving this.) But my point being, maybe American Brides and Grooms don’t know what they want. I certainly didn’t- even as short as three years ago, when I was at the ripe old marrying age of 25 (women of that age in Japan are called “Christmas Cake,” meaning once you’re 25 you’re too old to get married, at least to a Japanese man- it has something to do with a Japanese tradition of eating a certain type of cake on December 25th also). That’s where the “Industry” can capitalize: you see people in magazines, on TV and in movies as well as your friends doing it up big, so that must be what you do if you.

There are countless books out there lambasting the wedding industry and all the purely capitalistic “traditions” included in the Fairy Tale Wedding Day, so I will skip that here (see not at bottom). The environmental impact of any large-scale event can be scathing. I have helped with large events in Portland where the focus of all-volunteer “Green Teams” was to make sure all the compostable plates, cups and cutlery were placed into the correct bins. They were then sent off to a large-scale industrial compost facility just inside Washington to eventually break down: even with the remaining bones from ribs, mayonnaise and other food items one would not think to put in your own backyard compost pile. These types of scenarios are not available even for the large wedding- unless you plan on having a concert-size party inviting 20,000 of your closest friends and can make special arrangements with a composting facility of this magnitude.

My main goal to aspiring Green brides (and grooms!) to-be is to allow people to accept that it might be ok to do less, that sometimes less is more. You won’t hear that coming from a company that has something to gain (usually money) by selling you more stuff for your wedding.

A new friend of mine got married last summer. She told me she had three goals for her wedding day. Her first objective was that no one died or got seriously injured. Next, that by the end of the day she and her fiancé be married. And lastly, that people (including themselves) had a good time. I think those are excellent rules of thumb when thinking about your impending Wedding Day. Did every last flower pedal look perfectly set on each and every reception dinner table? Was the wedding dress absolutely wrinkle-free and the train perfectly set for the 15-second walk down the isle? Are these things that will matter in 3, 10 or 25 years from now? If the answer is yes, then taking into account Mother Nature on your wedding day is clearly not towards the top of your list for your Big Day. And that’s OK, I would rather you not waste your time reading this blog. Besides, you’ve got bigger fish to fry: like making sure the dinner napkins match the chair covers at the wedding which match the silk flowers in the corners of the dance floor. Et cetera.

Less is more. The less you try to DO for your wedding day, the more lightly all present will learn to tread upon the Earth. The less money you spend, the more time you will need to invest, that is true as well. The less oil you burn, waste you create, and focus on materialistic values your wedding has, the more connection you will feel with the grass underneath your feet, the sun on your hair and wind on your newly-ringed hands. But really folks, there’s no guarantee the planet will send a rainbow to thank you for your good deeds, but at least you will feel better about every small step you’ve taken to protect the environment, even on a day when the world seems to be telling you not to care about anything other that you, on your wedding day. And doesn’t that feel pretty great?